Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize