Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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