We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
