I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize