We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
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