I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Randomize
