Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
