Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
