The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
