i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
