i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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