Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
