Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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