i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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