The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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