she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
