it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
