this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
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FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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