Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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