There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
a search helicopter?!
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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