i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
