Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
