Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I love having hate sex.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
