I am spending my child support on dildos
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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