just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
