STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
