I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
