I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize