We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
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We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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