You're my little dorito
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
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