I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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