She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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