Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
