I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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