Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
