he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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