how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
