Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
