is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
