they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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