listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
