No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Randomize
