Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
