I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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