well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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