Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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