Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize