What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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