I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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