she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
