remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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