there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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