you guys were way drunker than both of me
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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