she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize