I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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