so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
